Friday, December 3, 2010

Not Alone

Snow builds up.

Snow melts away.

In between evidence is left behind.  [I have a band of squirrels who hang at my house.]

 We gather.  Even though we are each melting away.  It's nice to know we're together.

I just heard that my dad's best friend "Flinger" as he is called has really aggressive cancer. Ugh. I know people aren't supposed to live forever, but I hate to hear they have to fight to live. Didn't I just learn the lesson of fighting to live the hard way with Eli?  Or my aunt's brain tumor? Or do I still need to learn that lesson and that's why it continues to show it's ugly face?

My dad passed away when I was a year old. When my mom gave me all her keepsakes, my dad's wallet was one of them. My grandfather, his father, made it for him.  I knew it was special, a piece of him.  Not until I held it in my hand just before writing this post, did I wonder why he wasn't buried with it? Weird. Thinking about how many times I pull out my wallet in a day it makes me feel closer to my dad.  Remembering back to when I first saw his wallet, both my sister and I were amazed with the button and of course the three old wrinkly dollar bills.

I am not sure when my dad got the 'I am Loved' button or who gave it to him.  It lived in his wallet for what seems like an eternity with the letters rubbed off almost completely, wore a couple rings in the opposing side and was smashed flat from I'm guessing his butt squishing it.  So cool to see something my dad loved and all of the abuse that button took.  Much like our hearts, I wonder if they would look the same: rubbed raw, worn and smashed?

On another day I am not sure when, my mom gave my sister and I each a button to carry in our wallets.  I am passing my button on to Flinger so that he knows he is loved by everyone here and where ever my dad ended up and one day they will be up to their shenanigans again.  I would love to corner Flinger and hear all of the wild stories he has about my dad, but I guess it might not be politically correct to ask at a time like this.  Ah heck, I asked anyway, maybe this is the perfect time. 

Not until today while I was trying to find a replacement button did I know how it all started and now it only makes it more awesome, guess I need to share our story too!  Better collect a few more details before I do.

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